Being a good mum - Part 2: School shoes

Now, whereas I do try to keep up with the good mother's when it comes to packed lunches , I am unable to do so with school shoes. Good mums buy their kids expensive leather shoes each September.  But for me it goes against the grain. I can't do it. When it comes to school shoes, I am a bad mum. These are the shoes Eldest K will be wearing next Wednesday when (hallelujah) she goes back to school to start the new academic year...

Observant readers will notice two things:
1.  I have not bought her new shoes
2. These are pleather shoes (as plastic or patent leather is known in our house)

Firstly I'd like to let everyone in on a little secret - school shoes are available to buy ALL YEAR ROUND!  Its not necessary to buy them only in a feeding frenzy in time for September. (And as a side note - why does the school uniform buying frenzy happen in June?  They won't fit by September!). What do the good mums do if their child has a growth spurt in March?  Do they buy more expensive new shoes?  Or do they make their child cram their feet into the same ones for the rest of the academic year? If that is the case, I can't help but wonder if good mums are secretly bad mums after all.  Middle K outgrows her school shoes about once every 9 months.  I replace them when they no longer fit.  Those ones still fit.  Therefore the Year 2 shoes have graduated and will be entering Year 3 - along with the school bag that has been hanging around since Reception and will only be replaced if it breaks and the lunch box that has been with us since the previous one got lost, so perhaps 3 months.

Secondly  they are indeed fake leather, bought for the pricely sum of £9 from a less-than-fancy high street shoe shop that specialises in those boots that look like slippers and plastic ballet pumps.  They are not leather ones with an ergonomic sole from the other high street chain that cost £35. And they are certainly not the ones with replaceable sparkly straps that cost £46 and are advertised incessantly at this time of year on a certain children's television channel.  Because she is 7 - okay!  She will scuff them, jump in puddles in them, quite possibly lose at least one of them, and grow out of them long before the cheap Chinese ones wear through on the sole or go thin at the big toe.  I know proper leather ones are indestructible, but unfortunately children's feet wait for no shoe (or the start of the academic year for that matter). And whats more she hardly gives her shoes that much of a work out. She does not walk 5 miles to school through the snow and rain.  She does not spend long hours standing to attention in assembly.  She sits on a chair and sits on a carpet.  Even at playtime the shoes skive off as she is usually upside down on the jungle gym or doing a handstand. I'll be better served buying her a really decent pair of cycling shorts to wear under her dress...

Nope - I'll buy her decent shoes when her feet stop growing and the shoes have the remotest chance of lasting more than one academic year.  I mean what 16 year old doesn't want school shoes with inter-changeable sequined straps?

Being a good mum - Part 1: The packed lunch

I admit it - I'm quite a judgmental person.  I try not to be, but deep down inside I am.  It must be my mother's fault, I'll think of a reason why.  But in fairness to myself (and my mum) so is everyone else I know. I have never met a person who isn't silently judging everyone they meet. Admit it - you discuss people with your partner, or mother on the phone during your weekly call.   And one of the biggest areas we all judge one another on is how we raise our children. "I swear she doesn't iron her tea towels or muslin clothes", "I've heard she never lets her kids do junk modelling", "I swear last weekend she was so busy on face book and blogging that she didn't brush her children's hair for 24 hours"  and so on.  But the thing is - I'm an equal opportunities judmentalist.  I also judge people in a good light.  "She is an amazing mum - her kids are so polite and well behaved", "She's endlessly patient - she push started her son on his bike 25 times in a 20 minute period" or "how does she manage to find time to work all day and still iron her tea towels and muslin cloths - I aspire to be her, she's such a Good Mum".  And that's the thing you see - I'm always trying to be "A Good Mum".

Now there are a million areas of Good Mum-dom that I find challenging (well at least enough for 10 blogs), but the one I would like to focus on today is the packed lunch.  Man - it seemed like such a simple concept when I was a child.  Peanut butter sandwich, an apple and a penguin bar - moving on. I ditched the penguin bar in these health conscious days - but a sandwich and a different fruit each day - sorted. Right? Wrong.  According to Oldest K there are numerous failings in this lunch.  Firstly no peanut butter sandwiches ever - they are potential manslaughter weapon.  Okay - a jam sandwich then surely?  Apparently not.  "Anna has the best packed lunch in the class.  She has a sandwich, cut into TRIANGLES not SQUARES, with a different meat and salad each day". Salad? Really? But Anna's mum is such a Good Mum, Anna never comes to school without her PE kit and her socks always match. I must aspire to be more like here. Okay - I can do this.  So we now have ham, chicken, tuna and erm, ham and tuna again.  With cucumber and sweet corn. And mayonaise. Cut on the diagonal.  My goodness - I'm exhausted before they've even left for school.  But surely now this is a Good Mum's  packed lunch..  Apparently not "Amy has a snack like healthy crisps or rice cakes" says Middle E. Firstly - healthy crisps?  Like carrot sticks?  No - crisps - she showed them to me at the shops.  And Amy's mum is such a Good Mum - Amy already does piano lessons and knows how to pack the dishwasher. I must try harder.  So now we have a luxury sandwich AND health crisps or rice cakes.  And fruit, still got the fruit in case the 5 a day police come round.  So now I make good packed lunches - right?  Wrong.  "Louise gets a desert every day".  Desert? Desert?  But Louise's mum is such a Good Mum.  Louise speaks Latin and wears organic, handwoven cotton school frocks.  Dammit.  Alright - so what qualifies as a suitable desert for a school lunch box? Everything I tried was sent home by the militant school dinner ladies hell bent on saving the world from unhealthy lunch boxes.  Too much chocolate. Not healthy enough. Made in a factory near a factory that once accidently used a nut. Fail.  Last ditch effort - sent a penguin bar. Success!  And vindication for my own mother!  A good thing too - I was this close to chucking it all in a doing school dinners...  

So there we go - my failing aired for all to see, I make rubbish packed lunches AND I'm aspirational.  But of course that doesn't matter, you won't judge me on that, because you never judge people, do you? Anyway - I must move on - I'm not sure when I last brushed the kids hair and I have some muslin clothes to iron...