Monday, 8 August 2011

Eye-rolling questions

There are questions that you get asked in life that make you roll your eyes.  You don't mean to, it just happens.  In fact if you could control it you would have avoided a great deal of trouble as a teenager... Blame your genetics, its an evolutionary protective mechanism.  What these questions are fit into specific ages and stages in your life.  Some of them are not relevant to this blog - like "Where do you think you are going in that outfit?" and "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?".  However, there is a string of eye-rollers that I guarantee you have all been asked, by everyone from your mother to the lady working behind the till in Tesco.  These questions roll around with great predictability - the order goes pretty much like this: "When are you getting engaged?" "When are you getting married?" "When are you starting a family", and the second Number 1 is out the womb, "When's the next one?".  But here's the thing - after that, the questions move on to "When is she starting ballet?" and "Is she registered for Brownies yet?" and "Do you iron muslin squares?", not "When's the next one?".  Because society says you must only have two children, but I didn't.  I had three.  Because I like to be difficult...

When I informed the world I was pregnant again almost 2 years ago, I was met with stunned silences from everyone I told.  Then some new eye-rolling questions arrived.  With a new level of intrusiveness added to their repetitiveness... "Was it planned?" and "Are you trying for a boy?". Lets deal with these separately.  "Was it planned?"  Well - strange lady who stamps the books at the library - lets discuss your sex life and contraceptive methods first, and then I'll answer that question.  Better even than that of course is "Is it a mistake?".  A mistake, man behind the counter in the coffee shoppe? A mistake?  Even if the pregnancy was a surprise, I do not make mistakes (literally in this case).  And no, she was planned, sort off, even if not very well thought through. And then, as a mother of 2 girls already, next question is.... "Are you trying for a boy?"  I always answered this with "No, I'm trying for a left hander".  Why would I want a boy? I love my girls, I know what to do with girls (there is no problem that can't be solved with a fluffy hair band or a unicorn), and I do dark loads, light loads and pink loads when I wash.  No no no - a girl is just what I'm after actually.  But more importantly - is it really any of your business?

I must of course confess - I too am guilty of asking these sorts of questions.  I inwardly cringe as I hear myself say "So are you planning any more?".  Stop it, self, don't be so nosey! Let people live their lives... So my friends in blogland - go ahead have 3 kids - it rocks.  In fact have 4.  Or 5. or 19.  Swim against the stream!  And when you tell me you are pregnant again, I will be nothing but happy and excited for you.  I promise. I will not pry into your affairs of the bedroom. I will not force you to select a gender.  I am reformed. Now please excuse me,  I'm going to get off my soap box now wash some pink stuff.

Oh and for the record - no I'm not have another one. Probably.  But isn't that what I said last time...


  1. Hi, I loved your post, that is so true, yes, those are really eye rolling
    wonderful job.
    Bushra from bloggy mom
    Let's follow each other and stay connected forever.

  2. So far I only have the two. If we have a third it'll be an accident, just like it was for the first, HA! The second was planned. It took 5 years to go for it. I can't afford to plan another one. I'd be 40 by the time I get pregnant again if we plan...