Thursday, 22 September 2011

5 great mysteries of my life...

1. Why am I always so far behind with putting the washing away?  I wash it, dry it and fold it no problem, but that last step seems to be impossible for me. So much so that in this case I had to fold it all again as it had been over stacked, and spontaneously unfolded itself. I am such a domestic failure. This would probably still be waiting to be put away if it wasn't on my desk...

2. Why am I ALWAYS late on the school run? There must be a hole in the space-time continuum between my front door and my car.  I swear no matter what time I leave the house, when I get in the car it is 8.48, which means we are not going to arrive gracefully at school.  The sight of me storming across the playground  like a heifer on heat in the vicinity of a prize winning bull is quite common to those living in our village, dragging three harassed late children behind me.  Well, more than quite common actually.

3. Why does my children's hair not stay in a hair band or hair clip? Other people's children remain immaculately turned out all day, looking like its just be cut and styled by a professional, whereas mine tend to look like scarecrows who last had their hair brushed last week and that I went around pulling bits of the pony tail out immediately after having tied it.

4. Why can I not longer park a car? In particular parallel park? I used to be able to do it, I must have been, I passed my driver's licence (on the first try no less). But I cannot do it anymore.  I look like Austin Power's doing a three point turn - forwards, backwards, forwards backwards inching closer to the curb. The children have even said things to me like "just go round the corner Mum, there's always lots of space there" and "Daddy is good at driving, especially parking, you are good at... making cakes".

5. How is it people get their child, at the age of 4, to write Christmas cards and Thank You cards? Proper Thank you cards that say "Dear Anna - thank you so much  for coming to my party and for the lovely gift of a set of Dora the Explorer felt tips. I shall treasure them for life. All my love, Marybell".  It took every ounce of strength I had to get E to write her NAME in her cards last Christmas, while K wrote plenty in the first cards, less in the second and by the 10th card it was down to "Merry Christmas, love K". I suppose I should be pleased its wasn't X-mas.  I stand there like a slave driver whinging and whining for them to get it done. They cry, I shout and not much gratitude winds up getting to the recipient, even less Christmas cheer is spread...


  1. Tres amusing! Don't worry, there are many other things that other people feel useless at which you execute with consummate ease,like writing this blog for example. Also your winning, self-deprecating style is very down-to-earth and avoids making people feel inadequate so keep it up!