Bed - perchance to sleep...

I want you to close you eyes and think, really think, about when you last slept a full undisturbed night and woke up feeling well rested? When did you last have enough, good quality sleep? Last night? Last week? Last month? For me I think it was April the 7th 2003...  Before we had kids we'd sleep for 8 or 9 hours on a "school" night. On the weekend we'd sleep up to 12 hours - not waking up till 10 or 11 am. And then we probably had a hangover and went back to sleep...  The thing is, pre-kids, you just go to sleep and sleep (perhaps after a little activity, reading, you know). And you would remain asleep, undisturbed, until it was time to get up. Worse case scenario the cat steals the duvet or the neighbour's dog barks.  Just lie down, close your eyes and sleep, perchance to dream...

Sleep started to go wrong when I was pregnant with K - only 5 or 6 weeks. I'd go to bed only to need to get up about 15 minutes later, just as I was starting to drift off, to go to the loo (again). This meant that the whole falling asleep cycle had to be restarted. Bingo - already 15 minutes less sleep a night, just like that.  This continued my entire pregnancy.  In fact, with my later pregnancies, I knew I was pregnant long before I wee-ed on a stick, as my sleep went to pot. As you get further into your pregnancy, the sleep just get worse.  Leg cramps, back ache, bizarre dreams, a bladder the size of a small rodent and, of course, the fact that someone placed a bowling ball where my waist used to be and your breasts are the size of water melons...

Then the child is born and the tortuous sleep deprivation with a neonate starts, The loneliness of the breast feeding mother at 2 am, weeping with complete exhaustion. Hearing the child muttering and praying "please don't wake up, please don't wake up", and then lying there waiting for them to wake up. The condescending comments of "sleep while they sleep" - yeah right, and the other kids? The less said of sleeping at this stage the better - its a necessary evil, it passes.  But once they "sleep through" - then what happens to your sleep?

My kids are "good sleepers" - so I'm told. They all theoretically sleep through - meaning they go to bed and sleep until the next morning without getting up and howling for long periods of time, expecting milk or to be read to at 3 in the morning.  But K has night terrors occasionally. E talks and walks in her sleep,as well as having a small bladder and occasionally wanders around on the landing  on her way to "make a wee".  G still has her dummy and "blanket bear" and as she surfaces from her sleep cycle in the night needs these items to found and returned to their rightful place (dummy in mouth, blanket bear draped across face). No one manages to keep with bedding on for more than an hour and wake up confused and yelling due to being cold. Needless to say everyone has the occasional bad dream and needs attention.  I get up to visit the kids on average 3 or 4 times a night. I do now get back to sleep pretty quickly, most of the time, but still - up, down, up, down...

And then there is the morning. Its Saturday - what time did you get up?  As you all have kids or a pregnant (why else would you read a mummy blog) I bet that, no matter what time you got up, it was earlier than you wanted to.  I got up at 6.22 am with G. And as soon as I got up, K appeared, full of beans. I don't let them get up before around 6.30. But the thing is I can't sleep through the sound of them floundering around in their beds "trying to get back to sleep" - I may as well get up, check my Face Book or write a blog whinging about lack of sleep.

We won't even mention the charade of working late into the night or getting up early to exercise.  I'm tired, I'm always tired.  I have forgotten what I look like without giant black rings under my eyes...

I remember, when K was about 6 months old, I suddenly developed a new fantasy holiday. Going away to a 5 star Hotel with my husband for a Anniversary weekend or just some time alone.  Not necessarily in a game park, or a beach or near a good night out dancing or anything. Just a nice hotel, with a great big bed  with too many pillows and crisp white linen with a high thread count (whatever that actually means).  Because what I wanted, more than anything, much to DH's disappointment I'm sure, was to go somewhere quiet and comfy, and sleep, undisturbed, for 14 or 16 hours. It didn't happen of course - but I still dream about it sometimes.  Our 10 year wedding anniversary is coming up. Maybe then? More likely a family trip to Eurodisney in a budget hotel with the whole family in one room...



Disclaimer - this is not my bed! This is lifted off the Home Decorating Co web site - but I'd like my bed to look like this. Can't you see it fitting in to my lifestyle - 3 kids, 2 cats and a messy husband - practical.